What We Can Do

Recently I have been reminded of the real importance of things. Often, it takes a traumatic dose of reality for us to clear our thinking about what truly matters. Sometimes it hits you as you ponder "what else could possibly go wrong?" Other times it can hit you when you feel you are at the top of the world and you feel invulnerable.

But that's just it. We are not invulnerable.

Fortunately, the news I received did not pertain to me personally, nor to a member of my family. However, it was sobering news nonetheless. And it reinforced -- and in fact reminded me -- of some of the things I've mentioned in this blog before.

Philosophers have tried for millenia to determine what is the meaning of life. They are travelling a fool's road. It isn't the meaning that should concern us, it is the purpose.

The purpose in life is what every single one of us should be looking to find. And it is different for each one of us, to a degree. There are roads we often find ourselves on, however, that are not the proper roads. These are the roads to money, to power, to fame. If you believe that your purpose in life is to attain one -- or all -- of these, you will find yourself empty. Behind these temptations are nothing at all.

The purpose in life is self-fulfillment. It can be achieved in many ways -- thus my reference earlier that it is different for each of us, to a degree. But each road to self-fulfillment requires a certain level of achievement, of passion, and of risk. Also, it is not a race with a finish line. One cannot "become" fulfilled. Rather, we can live fulfilled lives.

And that means knowing you've lived as best as you could at any time. Someone whose life is cut short at ten could have lived a more fulfilling life than one who dies of natural causes at ninety-four.

It means recognizing to yourself, "hey, my life is pretty special."

We have very little control over when we will die. It can happen at any time. But we have every bit of control over how we live.

Baseball, A.M.R.

It is now the first Monday, A.M.R. That is, it is the first Monday since the release of the Mitchell Report. We have learned a great deal in a few days. There were quite a few names on the list. Some were surprises, some we expected, some we suspected. In all, however, we have to come to one basic realization.

Everything now is different.

And I do mean everything.

For example, the guilty individuals -- the players on the report -- seem not to merely fall into one category. I expected all of them to be like a Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro or Barry Bonds. And some, as Roger Clemens is learning, belong in this category. But there are others who don't quite fit the bill.

Sure, there are the players like Clemens and Tejada, players who were already considered the best of the best. Their motivations were ego-oriented. Perhaps these are the first degree cheaters. Whether it is someone jealous of the attention others have received, like Bonds, or whether it is motivated by proving that he is not in the twilight of his career, like Clemens, this group may not warrant any sympathy. Their crimes have ravaged baseball's record books. And history is forever altered by their behavior.

A second group are the players who chose the path for a seemingly noble reason. Andy Pettitte and F.P. Santangelo surely fall into this category. They made the same wrong decision, but were motivated by something else -- to get back there and help the team. Is it any less wrong? I don't believe so. But I certainly can sympathize with their thinking.

The third group is perhaps the least "guilty" -- and therefore of the most concern. These are the players who would likely have languished in the minors had it not been for that shot of steroids or HGH. Here is a young man -- an adolescent, really -- whose lifetime dream is so close he can taste it. But he is not quite good enough. No matter how hard he works at it, he just can't turn on the fastball, or throw at speeds of 95 mph. His dream is dying. So he turns to the one thing that can keep his dream alive.

This group is of most concern because it is this very group that most young athletes of today are destined to become. Realistically, not even 1% of 1% will make the major leagues. As players grow and competition becomes more intense, these evils are more readily available, and all the more enticing. And that is the real problem with performance-enhancing drugs.

Two issues have also been brought to light by the report that I must mention. The first concerns Roger Clemens while the second his buddy Andy Pettitte.

Roger first (Roger's always first).

In the several months leading up to the Mitchell Report, the face and name of the Steroids Era was Barry Bonds. He has been public enemy number one -- and villified everywhere including this blog. Bonds has been indicted recently on very serious charges. But the charges are not charges that he used steroids. It is that he lied about them under oath. In that respect, his situation is different from Clemens (well, that and the fact that his trainer preferred jail time than to sing like a canary). But as far as baseball is concerned, the stories are the same. And, frankly, they should be treated in the same manner by baseball, its fans, and its Hall of Fame. I mention this considering how often we've been told that race played a part of the Bonds issue. I thought that was hogwash. How Clemens is treated in the weeks and months to come will determine whether I was right or wrong.

Now, on to Andy Pettitte. He has been one of my favorite players for years. I loved him and was upset when he signed with Houston. I was thrilled when he returned. I am particularly hurt by this situation. Andy Pettitte was wrong. And while I am proud that he acted like a man once news broke, he still did something foolish. So did Rodney Harrison. Rodney Harrison plays for the New England Patriots. Why is it that Pettitte and baseball players are crucified while football players get a free pass. Look up their circumstances, they are nearly identical -- except for the results in the media and the likely results in stadiums across America. No one yelled "CHEATER" at Harrison. Why the double standard?

Lastly, this cannot go without saying, my fears about this report have been proved true. Two current Yankees were named. Twenty Yankees from the big dynasty of the late nineties were named. The Orioles were hit hard as well. Do you know how many current Red Sox there were? None. Zero. Zilch. There were former Red Sox: Clemens, Vaughn, Stanton. The only recent player from Red Sox' current glory was Eric Gagne -- who was a total bust and had signed with Milwaukee before the report was released.

You would think that a man like George Mitchell would have done his homework. Someone with inside knowledge to the Red Sox would have known more -- or would have at least been able to get the necessary information to find out more. Yet, not one current Red Sox player was named.

And we still do not know the source of the leak of Paul Byrd's name. Paul Byrd, Cleveland Indian pitcher, scheduled to start against the Red Sox in the ALCS with the Indians needing just one victory to go to the World Series. It's the first time I can recall that a playoff series was turned on a leak.

It's over 400 pages. It's controversial. And as I had suspected last week, is as guilty as the players it has named.

Cheating

Barry Bonds is a cheater.

So is Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi and Jose Canseco. For that matter, so are the New England Patriots.

Cheating is bad for sport. Period. Allowing it to continue, and allowing those guilty of it to keep participating in the sport they've cheated, is a disgrace. Every one of them, from Bonds to Belichik should be banned for life. Think about it, if Pete Rose has been banned for gambling, all of these guilty people also deserve a ban.

Obviously, since this includes a head coach, I believe that this ban should not be limited to players. Team representatives who cheat are also guilty and should also receive a lifetime ban.

This would include, if the arrows are pointed in the right direction, a certain director of the Boston Red Sox. The mysterious outing of Paul Byrd (also should be banned) within 48 hours of his scheduled start in the ALCS needs to be investigated. If, in fact, the leak came from the Mitchell investigation (who else would have had this knowledge?) then he is guilty of cheating. The leak and its timing certainly placed Mitchell's employer in an advantageous position.

I am not accusing George Mitchell of cheating. Yet. But signs are pointing that way.

More proof is right here. This is the list of players named so far in the steroids investigation. Note that a certain team from a certain New England city is missing.

Curious, isn't it?

Black Sox II

In a matter of days, former Senator George Mitchell will release his report on the investigation into performance-enhancing drugs and baseball. It has been reported that the report will name names of players guilty of using steroids, HGH and others. In addition, many are worried that the report will finger others as either aiding players or simply being compliant.

On the surface, this is a potentially great report. Perhaps the American public will learn more about the state of athletics and the lengths young men (and women) will go to succeed in sport. Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire may be the poster boys for the era, but it goes far, far deeper.

And, to be fair, we need to go deeper into this report.

George Mitchell was asked to head this invesigation because of his political clout. However, there is more to Mitchell than meets the eye. George Mitchell is a director for the Boston Red Sox.

That means everything in this report.

Let's assume the reports are correct and Mitchell will actually name players. What players does he name? New York Yankee Jason Giambi is on the list. So is Cleveland Indian pitcher Paul Byrd -- whose name was mysteriously leaked to the press just before he was scheduled to pitch in the American League Championship Series against -- you guessed it, the Boston Red Sox.

The question becomes not only who are named but who won't be named. The Red Sox, for example, are loaded with talent. If the report names stars from any other team but fails to name, say, Mike Lowell or David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez, isn't the purity of the report called into question? And let us not be naive and think the Red Sox players are innocent of this. If the Yankees, Mets, Dodgers, Angels, Cardinals, Indians, Cubs, Rangers, Giants and Rays all have players guilty or suspected of steroid use, it is only logical that the Red Sox are equally as guilty. After all, they did just win two of the last four World Series.

Bud Selig, ever the short-sighted baseball commissioner, failed to think this through. The scandal here is more than just who has cheated. The scandal now is how can an officer from one organization be fair to the other twenty-nine. What would he do if, in his investigation, one of his stars was discovered as a cheater?

The truth is, we probably already know the answer.

Just ask Paul Byrd, whose name just happened to be linked to HGH right before he was to pitch against Mitchell's Red Sox.

The steroid scandal is coming to and end.

Black Sox II has only just begun.