The Toon Wars

Forget the U.S. vs. Iraq. Forget about Bush vs. the Constitution. Even toss aside the Hillary Duff vs. Lindsay Lohan articles. We now have a good war we can all enjoy.

That's right. The Toon Wars.

It started in Denmark. Mohammed was portrayed in three cartoons. All of them were politcially driven (or drawn) and all cast Mohammed in a bad light. This has pissed off 1/3 of the world's population. You see, it is a sin in the Islamic faith to portray Allah or Mohammed at all, let alone make fun of him in a cartoon.

The first shot has been fired. This is proof that the crayon is mightier than the sword.

Now, I am not going to poke fun of Muslim beliefs here. Nor will I criticize it. Frankly, I think that the newspaper who originally published it, and the newspapers from France, Italy, Germany, Norway and others that have followed suit, are instigators and are basically morons. Hiding behind a freedom does not make one courageous. Neither does making a caricature.

The violence that has erupted is, how shall I say it, EXCESSIVE!!! Come on. Yes, the morons in the Danish newspaper are pitiful idiots. But that doesn't warrant rioting in the streets. If we all rioted every time something stupid was done, right now Seattle would have burned to the ground and the world would reach near implosion each time our president opened his mouth.

The violence is also a show of ignorance.

But wait. It gets better.

The Toon Wars are escalating. Iran is creating a contest in retaliation to the Mohammed cartoons. They will publish the winners in some state-run paper. But get this: it will have nothing to do with Denmark. It's going to have to do with the Holocaust. So here's logic for you: a bunch of idiots from Denmark slander your God, so you avenge this by making fun of the six million murders of Jews from places not named Denmark.

Am I missing something here?

We should be very mindful of this, however. I mean, what if all the Toons take sides. Will this lead to an all-out Disney-WB War? They are the Toon Super Powers, after all. Will the Japanese Anime be allowed to fight, given World War II and what happened there. And who will the Super Friends side with? Will Marvel and DC finally have an all-out? I've often wondered if the Hulk could give Superman a beat-down.

And when will it end? Bugs Bunny getting assasinated outside a Michael Jordan's Steakhouse? I can envision Goofy crying over Mickey Mouse's lifeless body, asking "Can't we all just get along?"

The Toon Wars are yet another example of the sheer ignorance that has plagued this world of ours. They're all stupid.

You want to win this thing? Forget the toons, morons. Fight ignorance.

Otherwise, none of us are going to survive.