I Always Miss the Good Stuff

So after discovering firsthand that flu shots only work for about four months, I have returned.

Here is what I missed:

• Mariano Rivera has, unbeknownst to him, been stealing the theme song from Billy Wagner these last several years. And Yankee fans blame Wagner.
• Katie Couric is going to CBS
• Metallica proclaims themselves to be Met fans
• The war rumbles on in Iraq
• Osama bin Laden took several breaths, ate, walked around... and plotted something
• Duke University lacrosse team did some very bad things at an off campus party
• Daunte Culpepper was cleared of some bad things that happened at a Minnesota Vikings party
• Mayor Rudy Giuliani was called to testify about what happened in lower Manhattan on 9/11
• Red Sox fans still have a huge chip on their shoulders: "HEY, NEW ENGLAND!!! GOOS-VRABA!!!"
• George W. Bush, it's been discovered, authorized leaks of intelligence information
• The media has been on the White House about the above. Can't they just leave him alone? Don't they realize how difficult a job it is to screw up all that America stands for without having to deal with a nagging press?

All this while I had the flu. I'd better not get a hernia.