The Most Important Thing

Billy Crystal, in the movie City Slickers, held up his finger to Jack Palance. They were discussing the one thing, that most important thing. The point is that everybody's one thing is different and only you can understand your one thing.

My one thing is raising my son.

I've written before about parenting. It's a subject that, as my son grows, is nearly always on my mind. His well-being and his nurturing are more important to me than breathing. Those of you with children of your own know what I mean. Nothing is more important to me than Jonathan.

I want to prepare him for adulthood -- essentially, that is what we parents are supposed to do. We are to love our children, nurture them, and make them the best people that we can. The best I can do for Jonathan is exactly that. I work to instill in him certain characteristics and traits that, in concert with his hereditary makeup (both positive and negative traits passed on to him by Claudia and me), will lead him on a course toward a fulfilled life.

Because of this, I have strong ideas on how I want him to develop. I want to prepare him for the harsh realities of life. I try to set him on a course toward self-fulfillment.

And what does that mean?

Of course, there is the obvious, that he is a kind soul who treats others with the respect they deserve. But it means so much more. It means that he is capable of taking risks -- not foolishly, but courageously. It measn he can make decisions for himself. It means that he recognizes that it is OK to lose provided he doesn't lose the lesson. It means he is the kind of person others look to for advice and leadership. It means he is a complete person -- one who is strong mentally, physically and spiritually. It means he knows that the only real failure is quitting.

Everything I do with him is in some way focused towards this goal.

I'm a dad. It's what I do.