On Being a Magnet
Magnets have a few things in common.
They attract metals, of course. They either strongly attract or completely repel other magnets, depending on how they meet. They can also turn others into magnets.
Another key piece to the magnet is its two poles. There must be a south and a north. There must be two opposing forces.
I am a magnet.
One opposing force, or pole, is my blackness. No less powerful and no less consuming is my other force. This second pole works in much different ways, however.
I can do anything. I can focus on the hardest of tasks. And I can finish them. IÂm stronger. I finish things I want to get done. And I finish them exactly how and when I want to.
It's amazing. Sometimes I feel almost invincible. I always feel superior. I feel like a magnet, attractive all kinds of people to me. And I am sexual. And hungry.
But I'm also scattered. I can focus, but only through tunnel vision. Life is not like that. While I succeed in my area of focus, I lose sight of -- and ultimately fail in -- everything else.
I'm also impatient. When this side takes over, I have little use for the ignorance of others. And, my, how I can see their ignorance. Everyone is inferior, undisciplined, unwilling to achieve my perfection.
I can create a charity bike ride -- even train and cycle through 200 miles worth of mountains over three days, but I will alienate my friends along the way.
I can write, sometimes at a torrid pace. I finished my first novel in roughly twelve weeks. Anyone who didn't wish to read it was cast aside, no matter that they were busy with their own lives or not the reading type.
Like the blackness, the clutches of this force are too strong. I cannot escape them. Though they are far more pleasant -- I admit I enjoy this side of the magnet -- they are no lessdebilitatingg and harmful.
Medicine has helped control the pull of the magnet. I am somewhere in the middle now. Neither pole gets me in its hold. Nonetheless, I know that it is there and it is a part of me.
They call this thing I have -- this magnet inside of me -- bipolar disorder. I was officially diagnosed in early 2004, but I knew long before about my magnet. I just hadn't given it a name.
And while the meds control the poles, the magnet is still there. It is the magnet that makes me who I am.
And that is just fine with me.
They attract metals, of course. They either strongly attract or completely repel other magnets, depending on how they meet. They can also turn others into magnets.
Another key piece to the magnet is its two poles. There must be a south and a north. There must be two opposing forces.
I am a magnet.
One opposing force, or pole, is my blackness. No less powerful and no less consuming is my other force. This second pole works in much different ways, however.
I can do anything. I can focus on the hardest of tasks. And I can finish them. IÂm stronger. I finish things I want to get done. And I finish them exactly how and when I want to.
It's amazing. Sometimes I feel almost invincible. I always feel superior. I feel like a magnet, attractive all kinds of people to me. And I am sexual. And hungry.
But I'm also scattered. I can focus, but only through tunnel vision. Life is not like that. While I succeed in my area of focus, I lose sight of -- and ultimately fail in -- everything else.
I'm also impatient. When this side takes over, I have little use for the ignorance of others. And, my, how I can see their ignorance. Everyone is inferior, undisciplined, unwilling to achieve my perfection.
I can create a charity bike ride -- even train and cycle through 200 miles worth of mountains over three days, but I will alienate my friends along the way.
I can write, sometimes at a torrid pace. I finished my first novel in roughly twelve weeks. Anyone who didn't wish to read it was cast aside, no matter that they were busy with their own lives or not the reading type.
Like the blackness, the clutches of this force are too strong. I cannot escape them. Though they are far more pleasant -- I admit I enjoy this side of the magnet -- they are no lessdebilitatingg and harmful.
Medicine has helped control the pull of the magnet. I am somewhere in the middle now. Neither pole gets me in its hold. Nonetheless, I know that it is there and it is a part of me.
They call this thing I have -- this magnet inside of me -- bipolar disorder. I was officially diagnosed in early 2004, but I knew long before about my magnet. I just hadn't given it a name.
And while the meds control the poles, the magnet is still there. It is the magnet that makes me who I am.
And that is just fine with me.
posted by E-Luv at 8:49 AM
1 Comments:
i love you outlook!
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