Vince Lombardi Had A Point

Something happens to me when I lose. A pit forms inside my gut and I can’t seem to get rid of it. My mind retraces all of the steps of my loss – replays every moment of it again and again as if it was a torturous and endless spool of film.

I hate to lose.

When I lost my match on Saturday, I felt the pit immediately. I was disgusted. I was angry with myself. I failed.

I hate to fail.

My wife had videotaped the match and, painful as it was, I forced myself to watch it. Three times. Every kick. Every punch. Every block. Every point.

Sunday I was lucky enough to spend some time alone. I was driving from my home in Connecticut to Yorktown, NY. It was a little over an hour each way. It allowed me time to think about my loss and to put it in perspective.

Losing, I discovered, can be more telling than winning. It’s more important. You can learn a lot about a person by how they react to losing.

Take two fighters as an example. Mike Tyson was ferocious. He whipped everyone. People had already begun declaring him one of – if not the – greatest fighters of all time. Then he lost. Shortly, he started losing control of his life.

Evander Holyfield began his professional career by beating everyone in his weight class. He moved up to heavyweight and quickly did the same. He became champion. Then he lost. A few months later, he had a rematch with the man who defeated him. And he won. He won with heart – and on that day people began considering him to be one of the best.

A few years later, the two met. It’s no surprise that the one who handled losing, who gained from his loss, won the fight. History remembers Holyfield as a winner, a champion of heart and guts. History remembers Tyson as a thug who wasted his talent.

At thirty-five, nearly thirty-six, I cannot continue competing forever. It isn’t why I chose to study Tae Kwon Do. At the same time, I must answer for my loss. I owe it to myself.

I have decided to continue competing, to win one tournament. I know what I need to do to achieve this. I know my strengths and where I need to improve. I will win one. Then I can stop competing.

But I need to win one.

I owe that to myself.