A Bad Feeling
At around seven-thirty this morning I was on my normal train headed to Grand Central Terminal. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Rarely is anything out of the ordinary on a commuter train. They're either late or on time, that's about the extent of it.
Today was different.
A woman in her mid-thirties, seated just a few rows from me, passed out and fell to the floor. She was out cold for a few minutes, during which the train conductors called out on the speaker for anyone with medical training to come to our car.
Sure enough, there was a doctor on the train and he quickly took over the scene. The woman came to, and was taken off the train by a pair of police officers once we reached 125th Street. Everything was over as soon as it had begun, and again the ride was nothing out of the ordinary.
Except for this feeling I had inside of me. It was a terrible feeling, one I have felt before and one I hate to feel more than others.
It was the feeling of helplessness.
Knowing that something was wrong and not being able to do anything about it is rough for me. There was nothing I could have done, and I was just a few feet from her. I despise that feeling.
Of course, I've felt helpless before. The most obvious moment was 9/11 when, just seven blocks away, there was nothing I could have done. There was my period of blackness, when nothing I did could shake me from my depression. But there are also several other moments in my life, moments like this one on the morning train, where if I had the knowledge to do something I would have been able to act.
I recognize that there will always be moments of helplessness in my life. But I have also decided that I can do something about the moments like this morning, moments where I could have helped if I had the knowledge to help.
I have recently discussed the possibility of taking the EMT course. While I do not wish to become an EMT, I would like the training. I would like to know how to help people in need.
Because you never know when something out of the ordinary happens. And it is better to know what to do so you can help.
Today was different.
A woman in her mid-thirties, seated just a few rows from me, passed out and fell to the floor. She was out cold for a few minutes, during which the train conductors called out on the speaker for anyone with medical training to come to our car.
Sure enough, there was a doctor on the train and he quickly took over the scene. The woman came to, and was taken off the train by a pair of police officers once we reached 125th Street. Everything was over as soon as it had begun, and again the ride was nothing out of the ordinary.
Except for this feeling I had inside of me. It was a terrible feeling, one I have felt before and one I hate to feel more than others.
It was the feeling of helplessness.
Knowing that something was wrong and not being able to do anything about it is rough for me. There was nothing I could have done, and I was just a few feet from her. I despise that feeling.
Of course, I've felt helpless before. The most obvious moment was 9/11 when, just seven blocks away, there was nothing I could have done. There was my period of blackness, when nothing I did could shake me from my depression. But there are also several other moments in my life, moments like this one on the morning train, where if I had the knowledge to do something I would have been able to act.
I recognize that there will always be moments of helplessness in my life. But I have also decided that I can do something about the moments like this morning, moments where I could have helped if I had the knowledge to help.
I have recently discussed the possibility of taking the EMT course. While I do not wish to become an EMT, I would like the training. I would like to know how to help people in need.
Because you never know when something out of the ordinary happens. And it is better to know what to do so you can help.
posted by E-Luv at 9:02 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home